Definitely not grilling a summer vegetable medley

Mike Crain had a real interesting evening...Went to the opening of a new pizza place owned by an art gallery fellow, real gay scene inside what looked like a bombed out warehouse but it was cool because they played a few choice 80s cuts (Nu shooz, I can't wait). After a few slices of pie and 3 miller lites straight to the neck, the night began. My bosses' daughter (17 years old, nice t-bills [sell to China], don't worry about it) starts doing moves real close with sister/boss looking on. I can't be an arse, but I also can't plaster myself on someone 6 years my junior.

In an effort to diffuse sexual tension, the filler breaks out weird-guy knee cross-ups and other moves that are best left to MJ circa Don't Stop Til You Get Enough. We go to a bar afterwards, younger sister awkwardly touching my thigh (both hands) while I simply refuse to make eye contact and make asanine comments about an old couple that danced next to us.

Also, this pizza gig made me realize how much of an imperative it is take away all of the cultural capital that hipsters have accrued as soon as possible. Dudes with long hair on coke=not that cool, even with seersucker jacket.