Definitely not grilling a summer vegetable medley

Mike Crain had a real interesting evening...Went to the opening of a new pizza place owned by an art gallery fellow, real gay scene inside what looked like a bombed out warehouse but it was cool because they played a few choice 80s cuts (Nu shooz, I can't wait). After a few slices of pie and 3 miller lites straight to the neck, the night began. My bosses' daughter (17 years old, nice t-bills [sell to China], don't worry about it) starts doing moves real close with sister/boss looking on. I can't be an arse, but I also can't plaster myself on someone 6 years my junior.

In an effort to diffuse sexual tension, the filler breaks out weird-guy knee cross-ups and other moves that are best left to MJ circa Don't Stop Til You Get Enough. We go to a bar afterwards, younger sister awkwardly touching my thigh (both hands) while I simply refuse to make eye contact and make asanine comments about an old couple that danced next to us.

Also, this pizza gig made me realize how much of an imperative it is take away all of the cultural capital that hipsters have accrued as soon as possible. Dudes with long hair on coke=not that cool, even with seersucker jacket.

Superman

Arms apart like a proctologist's, spreading wide America's collective anus.

Of course, I'll still see it this weekend. But I'll wish he were Batman.

Entirely inappropriate 9/11 reference of the day by a person without any sort of political qualification

Regarding the town of Hanover's decision to "double the punch" for students who violate state and town law by holding a Tubestock-like event without a permit, thirty-five year Hanover resident Kate Connolly told The Dartmouth, "It's like 9/11 ­-- why wait till it happens?".

On a related note, look forward to Hanover Police Chief Nicholas Giaccone's constantly referencing the "tragic events of Tubestock, 2006" over the next several years while carrying out the forthcoming, multibillion dollar investigation into a non-existent sex tape.

Speaking of billionaires...

Warren "Elephant-walk" Buffett plans to donate $37.4 billion, all in Berkshire Hathaway stock, to charity.

On a related note, during a recent meal at Burritoville, I emptied my free cup of water and filled it with Sprite as the cashier spoke to his friend. To my embarrassment, he caught me in the act and yelled at me until I sputtered out an apology.

Buffett told me to "stop acting like a pussy," then grabbed the cashier by the hairnet and deep fried his face, muttering something about UNESCO being "B-league."

Moments from the weekend trip to San Diego, in media res

Saturday, 12:52 am - Feeling confident after several victorious games of Beirut ("we didn't even play this at my school"), wondering if talk of Joyce will impress the pale girl with streaks in her hair; learn she wants to be a guidance counselor for nearby community college, nod, feign compassion; eye nearby donuts.

Saturday 9:14 am - Wake up alone, middle school stiffie; wipe donut residue from face.

Nice Construction by the Hanover Police Chief

(from the Dartmouth)

Giaccone said that police are finished searching AD for the time being.

"Will there be more arrests? Probably," he said.

Romanticism Returns

MC Krang

As a child, I played with this toy while eating pizza.

James Woolsey - REAL casual

Don't fucking worry about it. Just get in the car.

3,145 MPG Car!

University of British Columbia produced this sick unit with at 54cc motor. No word on the specifics besides that.

http://www.physorg.com/news70040977.html

Late Night Soliloquy

Beating back another upsurge of crabmeat-filled-salmon, I stare bemusedly at Giuseppe.
Why do I try so hard?
Time for the panorama, Mookie.